Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Still.

A quiet settles around me as I lay here in the aftermath of my verbal assault. My husband has been working hard to make money so we can finish our apartment. Since I lost my job and returned to being a stay at home mom he's been on edge. I love taking care of my son but sometimes I need a break, like when I'm sleeping and he has not made any bottles or changed any diapers for over 24 hours. To cut myself some slack, he started it. The baby was crying and instead of saying "Honey, the baby needs you" he starts kicking me in the back like an obnoxious child. I rolled over to tell him to stop and in the pitch black he kicked me in my 4 months pregnant stomach. Out of instinct I slapped him on top of his head and called him a d-bag, he responded by slapping me in the face in his groggy overworked stupor. I stayed awake and cried while he returned to his peacful slumber. Once he woke up I asked him if he would like to apologize, he said no. That's when something snapped inside me. I cringe as I remember some of the things I said to him, I must have told him six times that I'll be filing for divorce. I said he'll never see his kids and he wont get to be there when this baby is born. It was awful. Then he responds by taking my money out of my purse so I can't disappear for a few days. I waited a few minutes and then followed him to the kitchen. I explained how I needed that money to get to my prenatal appointment this afternoon. He handed me $5. I said "well what if I want food or a soda?" his answer was "sorry, no spending money today" then he left for work. What he doesn't know is that I've hidden his Black Ops game, sorry, no zombie killing today. Not my most mature action but again, he started it. I guess that is all I have to say for now.

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